The
value of alone time is big and should not be ignored. It is also important to
value the way that we utilize that alone time. When you have a child in your
life, alone time can be difficult to come by. Even if you are able to find or
create it, that time can quickly be interrupted by your child’s desire to have
you in their life.
We
understand. When kids enter the mix it can feel impossible to find any kind of
routine that allows us to make space for ourselves. Children make their way
into our lives when they deem it necessary.
Any
boundaries we set with your children can often become either completely ignored
or only maintained with serious work at best. Plus, you may be working hard
enough to find quality time to spend with your partner. Manufacturing more time
for yourself can feel like a bigger task than it is worth.
But, it
is worth it. Not only is it worth your effort, but this requires much less
effort than you might think.
Here are
the top tips on setting aside space and time for yourself as a mother while
raising children:
Decide How Much Time Is Enough
Honestly,
any time is enough. Even if you only have a minute alone in the parking lot
before you walk into work, it can pay dividends to capture this time for
mindfulness and breathing. You don’t need to be a mediation junkie.
By
taking small moments within the transitions of your life, you can improve your
mental state tremendously. You may not be able to find an hour for yourself,
but you don’t have to. Finding the spaces in your life and using them can yield huge
benefits for your personal well-being.
Decide What’s Really Important
If you
don’t want to be convinced of something, there is no chance of changing your
mind. But, the fact that you’re reading this means your mind is open to the
importance of finding time for yourself.
This is
not only important for you. By doing this for yourself you improve the way you
show up in life for your partner, your child, and the rest of the people in
your life.
The science is in. Taking time for personal
mindfulness improves patience, social skills, and attitude. These are only a
few of the many benefits, but experiencing the results is far more powerful
than hearing about them.
Research
mindful breathing, meditation, and self-awareness. When you have a little bit
of time to work on it, do it. See the results for yourself.
Decide What You Can Ignore…And
What You Shouldn’t
You
shouldn’t be ignoring important things in your life. Don’t neglect your job in
order to go spend 15 minutes breathing in a closet. But, let’s be honest. You
don’t need to.
Hopefully,
you can build up to longer, more sustained time alone where you can exercise
your mindfulness even further. But to start, it is a big step to be able to
find the small spaces in life that you can take for yourself.
At
first, this might even look like no time at all. What if you hear your kid fall
in the other room and start to cry? Sure, get there as soon as possible to be
certain everything is okay. But, think about it clearly.
Take a
deep breath and compose yourself before going into that room. The small
difference will allow you to handle it in the best way possible.
Don’t Be Fearful of Judgment From
Others
Some
parents who want to focus on setting aside time for themselves are worried about talking about
the subject to other people, such as friends, for fear of being judged.
But does
it matter if you are judged? Do you need to be? If you are not comfortable with
letting people know about your attempts to take care of yourself, then don’t.
Some
people tend to judge others who prioritize self-care as being selfish. First of
all, they are wrong. Self-care to a point of pampering could be selfish, but
self-care is a way to put yourself in a better position to show up in your life
for others. It is selfless.
Setting Aside Time and Space For
Yourself
If you
don’t think other people will understand your efforts and intentions, don’t let
them know about it. That does not interfere with your ability to take care of
yourself and improve your position.
Even the smallest steps towards making space for
yourself can help you tremendously.
It
would be a mistake to let anything get in the way of your trying.
