Mommy's Favorite Things: How to Set Space and Time Aside for Yourself While Raising Children

Saturday, September 21, 2019

How to Set Space and Time Aside for Yourself While Raising Children

The value of alone time is big and should not be ignored. It is also important to value the way that we utilize that alone time. When you have a child in your life, alone time can be difficult to come by. Even if you are able to find or create it, that time can quickly be interrupted by your child’s desire to have you in their life.

We understand. When kids enter the mix it can feel impossible to find any kind of routine that allows us to make space for ourselves. Children make their way into our lives when they deem it necessary.

Any boundaries we set with your children can often become either completely ignored or only maintained with serious work at best. Plus, you may be working hard enough to find quality time to spend with your partner. Manufacturing more time for yourself can feel like a bigger task than it is worth.

But, it is worth it. Not only is it worth your effort, but this requires much less effort than you might think.

Here are the top tips on setting aside space and time for yourself as a mother while raising children:

Decide How Much Time Is Enough

Honestly, any time is enough. Even if you only have a minute alone in the parking lot before you walk into work, it can pay dividends to capture this time for mindfulness and breathing. You don’t need to be a mediation junkie.

By taking small moments within the transitions of your life, you can improve your mental state tremendously. You may not be able to find an hour for yourself, but you don’t have to. Finding the spaces in your life and using them can yield huge benefits for your personal well-being.

Decide What’s Really Important

If you don’t want to be convinced of something, there is no chance of changing your mind. But, the fact that you’re reading this means your mind is open to the importance of finding time for yourself.

This is not only important for you. By doing this for yourself you improve the way you show up in life for your partner, your child, and the rest of the people in your life.

The science is in. Taking time for personal mindfulness improves patience, social skills, and attitude. These are only a few of the many benefits, but experiencing the results is far more powerful than hearing about them.

Research mindful breathing, meditation, and self-awareness. When you have a little bit of time to work on it, do it. See the results for yourself.

Decide What You Can Ignore…And What You Shouldn’t

You shouldn’t be ignoring important things in your life. Don’t neglect your job in order to go spend 15 minutes breathing in a closet. But, let’s be honest. You don’t need to.

Hopefully, you can build up to longer, more sustained time alone where you can exercise your mindfulness even further. But to start, it is a big step to be able to find the small spaces in life that you can take for yourself.

At first, this might even look like no time at all. What if you hear your kid fall in the other room and start to cry? Sure, get there as soon as possible to be certain everything is okay. But, think about it clearly.

Take a deep breath and compose yourself before going into that room. The small difference will allow you to handle it in the best way possible.

Don’t Be Fearful of Judgment From Others

Some parents who want to focus on setting aside time for themselves are worried about talking about the subject to other people, such as friends, for fear of being judged. 

But does it matter if you are judged? Do you need to be? If you are not comfortable with letting people know about your attempts to take care of yourself, then don’t.

Some people tend to judge others who prioritize self-care as being selfish. First of all, they are wrong. Self-care to a point of pampering could be selfish, but self-care is a way to put yourself in a better position to show up in your life for others. It is selfless.

Setting Aside Time and Space For Yourself

If you don’t think other people will understand your efforts and intentions, don’t let them know about it. That does not interfere with your ability to take care of yourself and improve your position.

Even the smallest steps towards making space for yourself can help you tremendously. It would be a mistake to let anything get in the way of your trying.