Mommy's Favorite Things: Avery

Monday, March 28, 2011


I have no idea what to do with her anymore...

Her door is weird and funky and when you close it and it locks in place it's there for good. It takes a lot to get it open. So Avery can't open it. I don't trust her with her door open at night because she's very destructive. She'll eat all the candy in the house, she'll color with permanent markers etc. So the door must be closed.

I've been putting her little potty in her room for her nap and bed. Well she dumps her pee on the floor every single nap and every single morning. I know she can hold it all night and she does. She only pees in the morning.

I've been giving her a time out every time, but obviously it's not working (this has been going on for over a week now). So I've decided to take out the little potty. At nap she'll be fine, but I don't know about at night. I don't want her getting an infection of course, but I'm sure she'll be okay.
And let's face it, I'm doing as much clean up now as I would if she wet her pants. So...

I think I'll do it this way for a couple days and then put the potty back in. As bad as it sounds, maybe it will teach her a lesson.
I wish we had a baby gate... I would put it in the hall way, and put a lock on the playroom and closet doors. So she could only go in the bathroom, of course she plays with things in there too.

I just don't get it. She's almost 4, big enough to know better. She plays with the toilet gel disc in the toilet, she plays with shampoos when she's supposed to be going potty, she dumps her pee on the floor. I mean come on... Enough is enough. She is very destructive and that's why I don't trust her out at night. I'm at my wits end. Tired of her doing these things EVERY SINGLE DAY (twice a day even) It's wearing me down.

I'm starting to get angry too. She's not listening to me, and because of the possible Asperger's going on she never has an explanation for me. When I ask her why she did something she says "I don't know why" she literally has no answer for me. I never yell, I hate yelling, but this last week I have been. It's hurting her, but she doesn't answer me and we're all confused. But I don't know what else to do.

Her room is starting to stink. The house is starting to smell like pee because of this. I seriously am LOST I have no clue what to do... Someone PLEASE help me!


Anonymous said...

Hi! I am an OLS member and Facebook Friend-Sharon Seneker. My sister-in-law let her 2 girls pick out really pretty panties at the store and they really liked wearing these special panties so they didn't wet or mess in this special underwear. This got them on the right track! Good luck! Sharon

Anonymous said...

I do daycare for a lil guy who will be 3 soon and he has NO desire to go on the potty yet has 3 older brothers as well. He will happily play and sit in his dirty diapers and unless you smell or changing time ud never know. He loves to destroy things as well and just smiles of innocence are his only responses. I have been trying wo work with him daily as much as poss. Last week he finally went poop on his potty but hour later he ent in diaper not saying a word just smell. i am awareof how frustrating of a time you are having. My only advice is try anything that comes to mind htat may or may not work until something does. Its a long road and it takes alot of patience but if u get a routine of behavoir corrected and so on i think it may help. Reward her when she doesnt do these thingsor acts properly and see if htat helps any. If i can htink of anything else ive used in my 18 years working with kids ill def. let u know Good luck

Jenn @ Beautiful Calling said...

Chloe just turned four. She's pretty good but has gone though a "destructive phase" a few times now in the past year or so. I'm not sure she means to be or whether she's just curious.

She would sneak out of her room and mix shampoo / soap and clean the bathroom counters or get a pen and draw where she shouldn't. Yes, we too had a marker issue.

Time outs are effective for some children and certainly have their place but it wasn't effective for this behavior with Chloe.

I dug out the playpen. Chloe napped in it and went to bed in it at night (much to her horror and despite her temper tantrum the first night about it!!!). I kept her in there for a week. I put her to bed/for her nap in the hall with the light on where I could see her while Scott and I watched TV in the evenings. Once we went to bed, I rolled the playpen into our room. She had to ask to get out and go potty.

I think part of the horror was that my two year old kind of laughed at her since he sleeps in his big bed.

I explained that freedom and trust had to be earned. When she chooses to do things she is not allowed to do and makes messes, then she looses that freedom.

Honestly? Sounds mean but it worked so well. Chloe is an early riser and since I'm expecting, I'm not! She wakes up at 6am, goes potty in the bathroom then plays quietly in her room with Barbies or whatever until I wake up about 7am-7:30am. A changed girl she is!!

(No help for the peeing trouble though)

Brittney Minor said...

Sorry to hear the troubles your going through. Maybe sign language would help the language barrier. I never did it with my kids and I know it is hard, but something to consider.
I think she wouldn't get an infection for holding it all night. My son just turned 3 and I had to switch for giving a reward for every time going on the potty to one reward at the end of the day for not having an accident.
Sorry, not much help here. Good luck!

Heather S said...

She's completely potty trained, Just does it out of spite I guess. She goes in the potty and then dumps it out... grrr.

Jenn, that is a decent idea actually. I might try that. Very interesting thought. When she was in a toddler bed and she would do something bad like picking the paint and drywall off her walls we put her in a playpen for a week, it temporarily helped, but now that she's potty trained we can't do the playpen, UNLESS she's in our room. Interesting thought.

She doesn't have accidents (like 2 in over a year now) but she just dumps it!! It peeves me off. I get so frustrated. So we pulled the potty out. During her nap she knocked on the door and said "daddy can you hear me? I have to go poo poo" It was cute! So we let her out, she went and then went back to sleep. I hope she'll do this at night, BUT last until the morning.
She goes down at 9PM and I go to bed at close to 1, so maybe I can wake her up to go and then she can hold it until morning.

Unknown said...

Put a baby monitor in her room, and before you go to bed, turn it ALL the way up so you can hear her when she gets up?

Lilu said...

Next time she does it make her help you clean it...even if it means holding her hand with some paper towels. Don't act mad or scream at her, just calmly tell her that from now on everytime she dumps what is in the potty she will have to clean it up - and stick to it. I know it might sound mean to some people but sometimes you need to throw them a curve ball :-)

And if you think about it, it's not really being's more like teaching her that there will be a consequence (different from punishment, which I don't believe in). That consequence, being cleaning, is probably something she won't like because it's not fun.

Hope things get better.

Heather S said...

Our first night went well.
She stopped water at about 8:30. We had a friend over and she likes him, so she went to bed at 9:30, I made her go potty first.
I went to bed at 1, so I woke her up and she went.
Then she was able to hold it in until 10 this morning. I let her out of her room, she went and it wasn't a whole lot, So if I stop liquids an hour before bed and wake her to go before I go to bed, she should be good!!

I'm never in bed before 11:30 and she's usually down at 9, so that should work well.
And we had no accidents last night so the first night worked well!

Brittney Minor said...

Glad it went well last night!

Rachel C said...

Sounds like things are getting better already. We all have those frustrating times, and I think MOST kids are destructive at times. They are learning and testing their boundaries. It's hard not to get mad when you think they should know better, but I think for the most part they are just testing things out, not trying to spite you. My kids have all done crazy things - my 4 year old cut her own hair last week and I never would have thought she would do something like that!!
Just try to be patient and give her lots of love and encouragement :)
(That's easy for me to say right now, since all of my kids are in bed!)