Friday, March 25, 2011

To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool?



I really really wanted to homeschool Avery. We started this past year, but I kind of gave up on it. She was ahead of where she should've been so I figured we'll take a year off and then start pre-k this coming year September 2011.

However, now that I think something may be wrong like Aperger's I really think she might benefit from public school. I would rather send her to private, but I think public might be best in this situation. They would have an on campus Therapist that could help her and she could really benefit from other kids. Lots of other kids and the routine that is offered with public school.

Now just a few months ago Jon and I had a HUGE argument about this. He thought it would be best to send her to public until about 2nd grade. I thought best to homeschool her. Now I'm leaning toward his side and I'm afraid to admit it. A little petty I guess.

I just don't know where I stand currently. At least I know I still have a good year to think about it. Preschool isn't necessary here. So I feel like maybe I can start homeschooling this fall and see how it goes. We would still be in a 'testing' phase if you will. So I still have time, I'm just confused.

As a mother I want what's best for my child, but I'm still not so sure that public school is best.

Jon and I need to really sit down and talk about it and see what our options are. We don't live in the BEST of communities. There are gangs that go to the high school here, but the crime is low. And the elementary here is FANTASTIC!

I'm considering sending her for a few years until we can figure out what she has and how to deal with it better. How to respond to her needs and then we'll decide what's best either home or public. Or maybe even private at that time.

Just torn and confused!!

21 comments:


Samantha said...

Put her in school! If indeed something like Asperger's is going on, then there are some social challenges she'll face.

Better to put her in school to begin working on those challenges ASAP instead of sheltering her from it in the home environment.

Plus many schools have great resources all ready to roll to help your child.

Good luck!


Krissy said...

I thought of homeschooling too, but decided to put my daughter in pre school. I did it more or the socialization aspect, but I do not regret it. My daughter loves it!

Following you from Friendly Friday Follow blog hop. Please visit us and follow back if you can! Thanks so much and have a great day!

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Monica said...

I'm participating in the “Week-End Blog Hop” and I’m now the newest GFC follower of your great site. Hope you have a chance to check out my blog, have a look around and maybe follow me back!!
Monica
http://oldermommystillyummy.blogspot.com/


Priscilla said...

I'd also go with public school. Have you looked into maybe a private school?

I think public school is great and best for kids to learn to socialize and learn. Every side has their cons and pros. I wouldn't have the patience to home school if I didn't have too.

I'd give it a go and if for some reason you then feel its a bad choice, it's never to late to back out and do home school and just go the extra mile.


Andrea G. said...

My sister-in-law is a therapist for a school district. We have had multiple discussions about this, and the general consensus is that the switch in routine from home school to public school can be super stressful. In addition, if you start her in public school and get her diagnosed and get it all in school system, your family will get a lot of support from the people there.

If it were my child, I'd put them in public school, but that's just me.


Rachel C said...

I know what you mean. Decisions like these can be tough, especially if mom and dad don't really see eye to eye on it.
Just wondering what types of things you're seeing in your daughter that make you suspect Aspergers?
I don't know about where you live, but here kids can get evaluated and receive services for free before they are school aged. I'm sure you could call the special needs teacher at your local public school to find out what the process is.


Valerie @ My-2-cents said...

If you do go with public school if it is too much for her you can always pull her out. I am a homeschooling mom and don't regret it. My kids get more socializing at home they they ever could at school and are socialized with more age levels than just their own age in public school. We get our socialization and have friends from coop, church, T-ball, Karate, playdates, homeschool groups and the other hundred things we do every year so don't let it be a socializing issue your child can be very well socialized as a homeschooled child as well. As far as therapy is concerned I don't know how your school system works. ours really stinks here and they only have a counselor/nurse in the school once or twice a week. :-( I would do some research before deciding. Best wishes. Make the best decision for you and your family and if it doesn't work out nothing and nobody says you can't change your mind. ;-D


Skye said...

It depends on how active you are going to be.
IMO- for your little girl, I would send her to public school.
Home schooled kids, ESP those with high functioning autism take a TON of worknad you REALLY need tohave them in tons of socialization situations. Church, a sport, playdates etc.


Melissa + Tiffany @ Home Grown Families said...

DO YOU KNOW WHAT PUBLIC SCHOOL SOCIALIZATION DOES TO KIDS? Esp 'different' kids. Kids are ruthless. When I pulled mine out in Kindergarten she told me the kids were starting to make fun of her already- in KINDERGARTEN!!!
You REALLY need to research what your school offers. With budget cuts you might find that it's not much. And you don't need to go through the school district for testing- a referral from your Primary Dr. will get you a very qualified, private evaluation.
My girl had 1 set of tests done right after she turned 6. From that 1 test the school district labeled her Low IQ and told me she may never work to the level of her peers- uh, excuse me! You've lost your mind. I know my baby and I know what she is capable of.
Besides, who is more capable of teaching our children then us? We know how they tick inside and out and what works and doesn't. We don't need to fit them in somewhere- we can cater to them. My kids need OT (for starters) and the only thing the school offers is 1/2 hour/wk in a session with other kids. My twins have been going to private therapy (one on one) for an hour a week and are still not working up to their age- what good would 1/2 hour of
divided attention have done?
Don't base your decision on 'socialization.' That is the biggest load of CRAP that homeschoolers get. First of all, have you seen kids lately? I PERSONALLY wouldn't want to socialize with them- let alone my kids socialize with them. Secondly, like I said before, there is still a stigma to being different. Now-a-days, school are doing 'inclusive' classes- where the special needs kids are in reg class rooms. Not a bad idea in theory, and I'm sure some kids are thriving in that setting, but it was not for my kid. She just got further and further behind and she saw that she wasn't catching on as quickly as the other students. She is a completely different kid now- confident, hardworking, understanding.
Homeschooling isn't for everyone- thats for sure. But, I only have a short amount of time to give my kids what they need for life. Letting them sit, labeled, in a class room is not going to help them.
E-mail me if you want to talk about this some more.
Tiffany


Erika said...

I can only speak from personal experience; my son was almost diagnosed with ADD/ADHD (we decided not to pursue a diagnosis) when he was 4 and we homeschool. I really struggled with the decision (my husband supported me in whatever I wanted) - I'm not the most patient person, I was homeschooled myself and I knew how much work it would take, and I just wasn't sure I wanted to. When all was said & done, I knew in my heart that homeschooling would be the best choice.

Our son has thrived. He is testing at the 95th percentile in standardized testing, he is a year ahead in math, excelling in everything he does, and he is very happy & well adjusted. There are no "sheltering" or socialization issues here - we do lots of things - karate, soccer, church, group activities, and more.

Homeschooling is a lot of work (I have 3 other young children too,) but it's 100% worth it. One of the main reasons is because I can give my son the one-on-one attention that works for him. I've been able to work with him and "challenge" him to focus more as he's starting to get older (he's in 2nd grade now) and I see him improving and growing every day.

I'm not saying you should homeschool, but I am saying it can be hugely beneficial to children with possible attention issues/autism, etc.

Never underestimate your abilities as a mom. Many would have you believe that school programs would be better for your child, but don't forget that YOU are the mom, and YOU know your child best, not some professional.

Good luck as you make this decision!

I'm stopping by from the Alexa hop - have a great Monday! :)
~Erika
Musings From a SAHM


A Helicopter Mom said...

I don't have any experience with Asperger's or homeschooling, but I think a better idea of what you're dealing with is needed. If you have a diagnosis, you'd be able to decide whether the programs available in public school or your own abilities at home would be better. I'm sure there are many benefits to both.

I'm a new follower and commenting from the Alexa Hop! I'd love it if you'd follow back and comment on a post at A Helicopter Mom

We also have a new All Week Hop starting. I'd really love it if you'd join us and help us grow! :)

Have a great week!


Lisa Noel said...

We live in an area that gave me reason to consider homeschooling. Our schools are behind the times in much technology, the buildings are old and the supplies are beyond limited (like no homework towards the end of the year becuase they've run out of or are rationing paper). In addition to that there is the issues with the influence of other kids to worry about. But since I work full time and honestly don't feel that equipped to teach my very bright children. We decided to go public school for as long as it makes sense and just supplement where we can with books, museum trips and just learning about things they enjoy. It is a HARD choice to make though!! But I know the resources for those who chose to homeschool seem to be growing and imprving everyday
(from stopping by from Alexa hop)

http://www.ohboyohboyohboy.com


Amanda @ Taking Time for Mommy said...

I'm your newest GFC follower (mandiana). Found you through the Alexa hop. :-)

I'm homeschooling my 3 daughters. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but socialization worries shouldn't be something that stops you from homeschooling.

Life involves people. As long as you involve your children in life (homeschooling groups, park days, clubs, art and music classes, sports - or whatever is right for your child), your child will have plenty of socialization.

You've inspired me to write a post! Look for it at TTFM soon! :)


Brenda Emmett said...

Stopping by from the Alexa Blog Hop.

As the mom of an Aspie, the best thing I ever did was to bring him home for school. We started in public school, but if I had it to do again, I would just keep him home from the beginning. :)

I won't lie and tell you it is easy. It isn't. But it was the best thing for my own child.

I hope you figure out what you need to do for your own soon. :)


Mama Chocolate said...

Stopping by from the Alexa hop!

I suggest looking up local homeschooling support groups and finding out more about it!
Homeschooling is hard work, no doubt about it, but I agree with the other homeschool-advocates that have commented here already, and believe it's the better option in almost ANY circumstance!

Certainly research all your options, discuss it with your hubby, and give it LOTS of prayer! You'll have a lot more trouble succeeding at homeschool if you don't have his full support!

Good luck and God bless! :-)

http://childrenchoresandchocolate.blogspot.com/


Krafty Max Originals said...

BLOG HOPping around with Alexa - I am now a follower of your blog. ~KM
Krafty Max Originals


Heather M said...

Thank you EVERYONE!!!

I really feel Homeschooling is the best option, but I think the help she could get from the school district may help her.

The first step is a diagnosis. I just don't know that I have the patience for it at this moment in time! We'll see when we get there. We still have time to think about it. And I also think maybe we'll put her in school and try it out for a year or two. If she's getting picked on or she doesn't like it, we can always pull her out to homeschool.

Thanks for the thoughts.


Amy said...

So, I know that you already followed up with your final opinion, but I wanted to let you know that I really agree with Samantha and Skye. I have been an in-home therapist for kids with autism. As a therapy team we realized how essential it was that these kids go to school so that they can be exposed to and learn how to navigate various social situations, learn to respond to directions and structure without parental handholding. Never were any of the kids I worked with bullied (I often observed them at school)! If you are not sure about public school, and if private is too pricey, I'd encourage you to look into charter schools.
You have the power, as a parent, to be very forward with the school (especially if your daughter gets a diagnosis). Express to them your concerns, observe the teachers (soon, before school gets out) and see how they conduct their classes and which one you think Avery would fit into best. You can even go so far as to tell the teach which kids you'd like her to, or not to, sit next to (we did that all the time). Sometimes parents don't realize just how much say they have over their child's public school experience.


mrsking14 said...

Helping lower your Alexa! Showing some love from Dinosaurs & Dandelions!


Shairbearg said...

I think the first thing you need to do is sit down with Jon (great name btw that's my hubby's too ;)). Tell him what you are thinking and you don't want a I told you so, but ask his reasons for the public school.

I thought about homeschooling b/c I didn't want to do public school. Around here there are a lot more ESL students than non-ESL students. I have no problem with that normally, but my oldest has a speech delay, and being in a school where he is the most advanced is not going to help him with his speech. So I looked around. We can't afford private, and I really took a hard look at myself and realized I don't think I would be his best teacher. That was hard on me, but I sent him to Catholic school and he is loving it. He is so much more independant, they have speech therapists, and all the same things as public school, but they are ahead in their academics in our area! It was a great decision for us. We are not catholic, but we are Christians, and I love that he gets to learn that God made the trees, and let's it rain to help things grow. It's what I would teach him. Also I have someone who is trying to teach him, and we can work together as a team to make him learn the most.

Alexa hopping! http://www.theknitwitbyshair.com


The Proverbs Wife said...

stopping by from the Alexa hop and following you on GFC