Saturday, April 26, 2014

Different Kids, Same Parents

Often you wonder how children can be so different. They have the same parents, most the time they are raised the same way, but they have different personalities and can be so different in their actions, their thinking and their behavior. Sure they might be a few years apart (or less than a year apart), but parents can't raise that differently can they? Being a third time parent is so much different then being a first or even second time mother for me.

My 3 have all been very different even right from birth. It confuses me really. I know that I'm more relaxed this time around than I was the 2nd and definitely the first, but can that really shape and mold a child so differently?

My oldest had colic, severe reflux and torticollis. She didn't sleep unless with me or the swing, but started sleeping 12 hours at night at just 12 weeks (thank goodness). But the whole time she was awake she was screaming and projectile spitting up. It was a rough few months, then we did Physical Therapy until she was 17 months old. It was definitely a rough start for her and us as parents. She's never played with toys though however. Then as she grew older we noticed things were off/wrong with her. She's now been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (I believe Bipolar and ODD however). She also wears glasses due to a lazy eye, thought to be caused by the torticollis.
My oldest at 3 months

My 2nd child didn't have any of these issues, although he didn't start sleeping 12 hours until 7 months old, he was a generally happy child with no reflux or colic at all. My 2nd came along when my oldest was 4.5 so she had been an only child for a while. He is now 28 months and is a totally different child then she was. So easy going, plays with toys and although in his terrible 2s is much more manageable.
2nd at 3 months

Now my 3rd was a cranky newborn for sure. Thought to have had a bit of colic, but it was never really regular crying. Otherwise he was super clingy in the beginning, we were sleeping sitting up on the couch all night long from about 2 weeks until about 10 weeks. He also only napped on me too. WOULD NOT SLEEP ANYWHERE ELSE. Then he started slowly sleeping in the pack n play for naps, but night was on the couch. Then SLOWLY started sleeping in there at night. Now at almost 15 weeks he is solely in the pack n play during the day and at night. Even still, he's easier than my daughter was as a newborn/infant HANDS DOWN.
My youngest at 3 months

All that to say... with my 1st she had the most attention. We did flash cards, alphabet, numbers, etc. We played games. It was one on one for 4.5 years with her. But she's always had issues that they claim is attention deficit? My son had a bit less attention since I was divided amongst the 2 of them all while maintaining a blog and other things. And my 3rd? Will probably have even less attention from us parents. But my 1st has all the issues?

Now I have definitely done things different with my 3. My oldest was fully vaccinated (which I think have led to her issues), disposable diapered, nothing natural at all and formula fed. My 2nd was fully vaccinated except his 2 year shots, cloth diapered from birth, practiced babywearing, used mostly natural products and only partially breastfed. And my youngest is not vaccinated, fully cloth diapered, practiced babywearing, 90% of everything is natural and so far 100% breastfed. It will be interesting to see how this plays a part as my youngest 2 get older. So I DID raise them all a bit differently. And so far I'm seeing a difference.

It's insane how 3 different kids have 3 different personalities and attitudes even with the same parents and the same DNA.

How different are your children?


Cheryl said...

My children have all been so similar until my 4th and final daughter. She is polar opposite of the first three. It is so strange. She has the exact diagnoses as your daughter. Had severe GERD/acid reflux, lazy eye, and is now diagnosed with ADHD. There has to be a link to something to get those things all diagnoses together.

Heather S said...

So weird! But I totally agree Cheryl.
I think Vaccines are a huge part of it to be honest. Just curious, was she fully vaccinated?
We no longer vax, and I'm hoping my younger 2 don't have the same issues (so far they've avoided the reflux, colic and torticollis).

Rebecca Parsons said...

My three girls all different. first one was really independent from about 2 years. Easy never cried. my second daughter started out with Colic and cried all the time. Then when she hit 2 she was so quite and always kept to herself. My 3rd daughter was always shy when tiny but cried all the time. She is now a rebellious child. I know all about 3 kids being different even though they were raised the same.